Current mood:	lonely
Current music:	"Suite, Movement 6" by Janacek

Eevee and the stupid feelings she has.
Hello again. I'm afraid that I've ignored my journal for a while. Bad me...*slaps self on wrist* I'm quite sorry, my reader(s) (I'm doubting there's more than one...), I'll try to do better. Everything has just been so confusing lately.

All of me is scrambled, and I don't feel like a real person anymore. I'm just slumping through days, not feeling anything at all. I'm detached from the world, it seems. So many things are wrong, and there is naught that I can do to fix any of it.

You see, err...There's a boy I like. He's not especially handsome, but he's rather witty and seems sweet. I have only told one person who I like, and they don't even know him. I can't continue just not telling anyone. I want everyone to know the truth: the quiet geek in the corner has a crush on a boy, just like a ditz. But I know that he wouldn't like me back, and my pride stops me from doing anything that would help me feel better.

And then there's a girl. No, I haven't feelings for her, but I still have a terrible problem with her. We used to be friends, but then we drifted apart. Now it seems we're becoming friends again, after several years of ignoring each other, and I don't know what to make of it. On the one hand, I really miss her and want her friendship again. On the other hand, in my heart I know that we can never truly be friends again. Somehow, I can't trust her any more; something's changed, and it shan't change back.

And so I escape, into my fantasy world. I shouldn't, for it's childish, but I cannot help it. My heart is of lead, and it slowly sinks to the cold bottom of my soul. The only place I feel all right is in my stories. I escape into the worlds of wishes and will and magic, and I can't return again.

Why must I do these things? I truly don't know. My thoughts torture me day and night. But I think that I'll let you all alone now; there are better things to do than listen to me whine.