User:	childfree (posted by ourloveispurexo)
	Date:	2009-12-25 22:18
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

I never write in this community-instead I read your posts and it really gives me insight. So I have sort of a dilema. I'm a 24 year old female who lives with her boyfriend of 5 years and started a job at a law firm about 4 months ago. I work with two women, one is 25, and the other is 28 both of whom have children. The 25 year old has two chilrren(5, 8 months) and the 28 year old has a three year old and is pregnant with her second. Our job is VERY strict in terms of hours/vacation. We get 12 days off a year and 6 sick days off a year-so in the 4 months I have been there I have earned 4 days of vacation time and 2 sick days.

To make this story short I went over my sick days by 4 hours, and asumed I could make those hours up by working through my lunch time (since that is what everyone else does-mainly the two girls with children)...come to find out I am not allowed to do this at all-apparently my office manager is cutting 4 hours off of my paycheck (keep in mind i'm a salaried worker)...all because I went over my sick time. She couldn't even take time off my vacation hours.

Well the one girl has been there for 6 years(the 25 year old with two kids) and she comes into work 30 minutes late everyday and literally takes at least 2 days off, or half days off a month. Somehow she is allowed to make them up.

This has been brought up in the commnity a lot, but I have got to vent...how many of you are sick and tired of the "special" treatment coworkers get because of having children? Honestly-it makes me want to file a lawsuit against them for losing 4 hours work of pay just because I went over 4 hours work of sick time. Please tell me I'm not the only one in this position.

	User:	childfree (posted by tiger66466)
	Date:	2009-12-25 20:55
	Subject:	Is being a mother really "natural"?
	Security:	Public

I had this thought playing on my mind after seeing a post in the baaaby animals community about these two red pandas who were each abandoned by their mothers (two different mothers). Someone asked why their mom's would abandon them and the answer was - to the best of their knowledge - not being ready, first time mom's, milk issues, etc.

So it got me thinking - animal mothers abandon their babies all the freaking time. As do human mothers. Thus it would stand to reason that motherhood is not always the desired, easy, wanted thing - for most any species. Hell, there are some species that EAT their own young.

Anyhoo, my point is that motherhood isn't all that natural for many - it's BIOLOGY that thrusts itself upon mothers. Of course, some people/animals are natural mothers - I'm not saying it's never a good fit or feels natural - it is just not a one size fits all situation.

But the idea that every female is MEANT to be a mother and would be great at it is really horseshit. I mean you'd think that animals who aren't really using "logic" and thus you'd think would have all the natural INSTINCTS kick in when they become mothers still abandon their babies then maybe, just maybe, motherhood isn't the ultimate and most natural thing for all females. That maybe *GASP* it's an INDIVIDUAL thing not a certainty.

Again, for some it's the biology that kicks in (ie the urge to mate and reproduce) rather than any actual true desire to raise and nurture that offspring. While some mothers - who were just suckered in by biology - suck it up and raise their babies pretty well, others (like the two red pandas that brought about this thought chain) say, "Fuck this noise, I'm not cut out for this" and cut their losses and get the hell out of Dodge.

I know I'm preachin' to the choir here, but just wanted to share these thoughts with folks who would most likely throw an "Amen, Sista!" my way. lol (I am not religious but I do enjoy doing tv evangelist impersonations. lol)

	User:	childfree (posted by emt_amy911)
	Date:	2009-12-25 11:02
	Subject:	Must bow to the altar of teh child.
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	aggravated

My sister doesn't have kids...yet. She'll probably get married in a year or so. She knows Chris and I are staunchly CF. She said "Oh you'll love Christmas in a few years!!!!" . How this got started was my parents got me a Vegas calendar for Christmas....I mentioned we'll probably shell out the extra $$$$$ to fly first class so we can A.) Drink and B.) Not worry about screaming crotchlings on the flight. Thats when my sister said that i'd love Christmas in a few years. Erm, no. I'll be getting her a box of condoms for Christmas from now on. She was like "well, they're only 2!!!! If they scream, they scream!" (I used the example of a screaming 2 y/o on the flight) I said "yeah....you can still teach a 2 y/o to not scream, my friend did it with hers!!!! Amazing!!!!" (My friend's 2 y/o is absolutely adorable and I like her because she's well-behaved) Thankfully, my family is cool with me not reproducing, they know me too well. I'd be a horrible mother. LOL. Soooo...Any stories of sprog worship at your family gatherings?

	User:	marysues (posted by amideadn0w)
	Date:	2009-12-25 14:29
	Subject:	My work is never over ^^
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	drained
	Music:	Pink-Feel good time

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	User:	childfree (posted by arwenofgenki)
	Date:	2009-12-24 18:36
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

This lovely comment was just retweeted by a friend of mine on Twitter, found it amusing:

"Babies are terrible, alien parasites which can infect you without warning and burst forth in a bloody mass from your abdomen."

Soooo true.

	User:	childfree (posted by brbchurch)
	Date:	2009-12-24 14:58
	Subject:	CF identity?
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	lazy
	Music:	Charley Brown Christmas soundtrack

I know that a lot of people rant about their friends and family not having an identity past their children, but this made me sad :(

( Story... )

	User:	childfree (posted by silent_twin)
	Date:	2009-12-24 13:11
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

My grandmother sent me and my sister to Walmart today [I thought it'd be a holy hell with children, but there was hardly anyone in the store]. My sister used to work at Walmart, but got fired when she was limited to doing things when she was pregnant. She had the kid in September, so it was while back and she know a lot of the workers.

Anyways- we were at the seafood section and the older lady behind the counter knew my sister and wanted to see a picture of my niece. Then, this convo took place:

Her: Do you have any children?
Me: No
Her: Well good!
Me: Don't ever plan on having any.
Her: You're smart. They ain't worth all the shoulder, back, and hip pain.

I was pleasantly surprised. I usually expect a bingo. :D

	User:	childfree (posted by spazcat101)
	Date:	2009-12-24 12:53
	Subject:	Ick ick ick!
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	bleahh!

As I was closing Facebook, I briefly (thank GOD) noticed the ad on the sidebar. "Remove stretch marks!"

Giant pregnant belly COVERED in huge purple stretch marks!

Eeeeeeuwwwwww! I don't want to see thaaaat! Ick.

And no thank you.


Ever since I changed my status on FB to "engaged," I've been seeing ads for "Florida mommys blah blah blah" and baby stuff this and that. Just because I'm engaged -- not even married yet! -- doesn't mean I'm going to be popping out sprogs anytime soon!

Can't wait to see what it throws at me when I changed it to "married"...

	User:	childfree (posted by miss_october)
	Date:	2009-12-24 09:49
	Subject:	baby craze on tv
	Security:	Public

Ever notice there's a ridiculous amount of tv shows related to pregnancy/babies/kids on TLC and Discovery Health?

I got curious and decided to see how many are listed on those sites.

18 Kids and Counting
I Didn't Know I was Pregnant
Jon & Kate
Table for 12
Toddlers and Tiaras
Then Came Six
Deliver Me
Babies, Babies Everywhere
Birth Day
The Baby Diaries
Babies: Special Delivery
I'm Pregnant And...
Expecting 15 Babies
She Survived That....Pregnant?
Adoption Stories (Okay I'm glad they have this one!)
Runway Moms (pregnant women fashion-themed show)

And I'm sure there are others.

	User:	childfree (posted by higenshi)
	Date:	2009-12-24 06:28
	Subject:	I luled.
	Security:	Public

I think everyone here will appreciate this:

( Merry Christmas, Childfree. Picture behind cut. )

Enjoy. 8D

	User:	childfree (posted by m03m)
	Date:	2009-12-24 10:28
	Subject:	I *heart* this bus driver
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	amused

A Dutch newspaper reports:

Shrieking child told to leave Connexxion bus *
DUTCH PRESS AGENCY | Published on 23 December 2009, 18:20 * Last updated on 23 December 2009, 18:25 ALMERE -

A driver of a bus owned by the Connexxion company on Tuesday afternoon in Almere told a little girl of three years old and her mother mother to get off the bus because the child was shrieking.

The transport company confirmed this report on Wednesday. The Connexxion company has suspended the driver pending a research.
"We find it unacceptable if this was done without further reason" a spokesperson for the company said. The bus driver's side of the story is as yet unknown.

A concerned traveller warned the bus company. The woman and the child had left the bus on the last stop before train station Almere-Buiten. According to the witness, the driver said that the woman needed to teach her child better manners.
The identity of both passengers remains unknown. The woman has so far not communicated a complaint.

	User:	childfree (posted by sanat)
	Date:	2009-12-23 23:07
	Subject:	WHOA--baby rabies for the lose!
	Security:	Public

I was enjoying a bagel and latte this morning at a cafe when I read this Dear Abby column in the paper, and my blood just about ran cold:

Text-save here, bolding mine: ( Teal deer version = Husband is pretty much trying to entrap his injured wife into pregnancy by cutting off funds for BC and car rides to pharmacy )

Abby recommends "professional mediation now", but Fizzgig in my icon is just screaming RUUUUUUUN!!!

	User:	childfree (posted by dgcatanisiri)
	Date:	2009-12-23 18:58
	Subject:	There's A Right And A Wrong Time For These Things...
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	cynical
	Music:	Crush ~ Glee Cast

I went to see Princess and the Frog today. The movie was great, and the audience was fairly lacking in kids (I attended one of AMC's more expensive 'dinner and a show' style theatres, so the extra price probably kept the average parent away). There was a kid crying when Facilier's friends from the other side were let loose, but it was fairly soft, all things considered, and it didn't last very long.

However, there was one thing that bugged. One of the pre-movie ads was about encouraging children. Fine, whatever, I don't argue that kids need encouragment, especially in the more creative ventures, given the severe lack of imagination the current generation is getting these days. However, the commercial itself involved a kid wandering on stage at a piano recital, you know, the fancy kind where you dress up, and plunking out 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.' The ACTUAL pianist, you know, the one that people actually paid to see comes out and plays with him. And then the audience breaks into applause.

Like I said, I'm for encouraging creative endeavors. And I admit that I'm overanalyzing a commercial with a message that, bottom line, I agree with. But a piano recital doesn't strike me as a place where a kid should be praised and encouraged. Likewise, the parents don't come across too well, since they lose their kid between the lobby and the seats (though they do get points for starting to get the kid before the pianist starts playing with him).

I just found it irritating and needed to share.

Minor clarification edit: When I say that the kid wandered out, I mean that he slipped away from his parents and snuck on stage and began playing, not that he was the one who was meant to perform at the recital.

	User:	childfree (posted by higenshi)
	Date:	2009-12-23 18:10
	Subject:	Swine Fwu and New Medical Procedures
	Security:	Public

I'm sorry, this needed to be said.

First, I'll start with the rant. My Papa turned on the news (even though I was watching TV), and there's a report on how teh chyyyyldruuuuun NEEEEEED their swine flu shot--even though they also say, "LOL, THIS IS ON THE DECLINE, EVEN THOUGH MOST PEOPLE AREN'T GETTING A SHOT!" Just... Ugh. It's pissing me off. I've heard enough about this crap.

HOWEVER.

I heard of a medical procedure that, currently, is for those who don't want children. It's also for women over thirty, but it's because it's still in testing. I'll try to find a news article. It's removing something dangerous from the uterus.

EDIT: Sorry, I forget, most of you experiencing this. I'm mostly just tired of hearing EVERYWHERE, every time I got out, about swine flu and children (together) to the point of, "Dear GOD, people, can't you guys talk about anything else!?"

	User:	childfree (posted by m03m)
	Date:	2009-12-23 22:56
	Subject:	Another of those introduction posts...
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	cheerful

Hi all.
I'm 41 years old, female, and from the Netherlands. I'm a signwriter. I'm in a relationship with a great guy. And I've never had or wanted kids. Having children always seemed the kind of thing that other people do.
Despite all the cries of 'Oh, you'll change your mind!' I never did. I'm just not the motherly type. I'm not a child person... I'm more of a cat person, a motorbike person, and a living-in-a-disused-office-building person. I'm into lots of things that having children would just clash with.
Besides, if you don't feel the need... why bother? Why even look for reasons not to have them if you don't have any reasons to have them?

I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who feels the same way. I'm even luckier that he had his tubes tied long before he met me. So currently I don't even use birth control anymore. Yet another kind of freedom.

It's great to be over forty. People have finally stopped saying that I'll change my mind. I'm sure many of you can relate.

Nice to meet all y'all!

	User:	childfree (posted by littlehellcat)
	Date:	2009-12-23 15:13
	Subject:	Is there a method of birth control that doesn’t RUIN SEX?
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	cynical

I’ve been on the pill before, even the one with the lowest dose of hormones, and it still gives me chest pains, mood swings, and an overall hellish feeling. Condoms make it feel like I’m fucking a plastic bag—a total turn-off! I’m not able to use an IUD—it just doesn’t fit. I’ve tried the sponge, but it seriously keeps me from feeling anything, and I assume the diaphragm would be the same way. I’ve attempted to use the fertility awareness method—but it’s damn scary! I realized I’m NOT at all regular, and so it’s a very risky method to be using. We’ve used withdrawal plenty of times, though it makes me sad. I *wish* I could handle hormones, but I’m far too sensitive. My BF doesn’t want a vasectomy—which I feel would be the BEST option. So looks like I need to get sterilized? Meh, what a pain in the ass. That I cannot currently afford. Birth control is still in the dark ages!! So many depressing side-effects. :(

Any suggestions??

	User:	childfree (posted by beyondashes)
	Date:	2009-12-23 10:47
	Subject:	Balloon-boy nonesense
	Security:	Public

Remember the balloon-boy hoax? That stupid set of parents that got their kid to lie and hide, and they told everyone he was in the balloon and the police launched some huge rescue effort, etc etc etc..

Well, I just noticed that the parents got sentenced finally to weird amounts of jail time (<- link there, quote here ->), but other than that:

District Judge Stephen Schapanski said Heene will spend 30 days in jail, followed by 60 days work release that will allow him to pursue work as a construction contractor while he is serving his time.

The Colorado father will not start his sentence until next month so that he can spend Christmas with his children and wrap up his affairs.

	User:	childfree (posted by cazmanian_minx)
	Date:	2009-12-23 18:45
	Subject:	Childfree flying
	Security:	Public

Normally I love Easyjet. Their free-seating policy means that as long as I wait until most of the passengers have boarded, I can usually nab myself a seat nowhere near any kids. On Monday it backfired on me - I had a nice window seat 2 rows from the back, the nearest small child was 10 rows in front of me and then two under 3s sat down behind me and screamed through the WHOLE 90-minute flight :o(

Other half and I are saving for the holiday of a lifetime in 2011. We're going to Mauritius, which is a 12 hour flight from the UK and I'm seriously considering paying the £500+ upgrade per person per leg of the flight to fly in Virgin Upper Class instead of Economy just to avoid the possibility of 12 hours of screaming kid. Has anyone flown Virgin UC and has anyone ever seen small children in it??

Also, if anyone's been to Mauritius and can recommend a hotel that's catered more for adults, I'd appreciate it. As far as I'm aware, there aren't any adult only resorts on the island. I've heard good things about Paul et Virginie.

Wish someone would start up a CF airline, I'd happily pay double fares for the peace and quiet!

	User:	marysues (posted by pgirl1986)
	Date:	2009-12-23 11:41
	Subject:	Oh my God.....
	Security:	Public

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	User:	marysues (posted by ackisnotback)
	Date:	2009-12-22 21:06
	Subject:	Hetalia sue.
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	scared

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